When did it become ok to try to hold a conversation in the bathroom...........while ur taking a piss? Am I crazy or has traditional bathroom behavior just fallen by the waste side in favor of this bizarre new practice. I can usually make a routine trip to the bathroom without being harassed or even making eye contact with anyone. Well today at my place of employment, a fairly new co-worker decided today was the day to break up my sacred routine. In retrospect, I should have just turned around and went back to my desk as soon as saw this clown in the rest room. I'm sure most of you have those co-workers who you try to avoid, because you know if you acknowledge them, they will trap you in some long drawn out, useless small talk. This is that guy. Anyway, against my better judgment, I walked into the stall and began to release the hounds. I usually drink alot of water through out the day, which meant that I would be standing at the stall an extended period of time. So I'm minding my own business when I hear " Hey Emeka, haven't talked to you in a while, how you been?". In my head, I was asking myself, "Is this guy seriously trying to talk to me right now?". I didn't know what to do. I was shocked and mortified that this guy was holding his johnson in the stall next to me and trying to make eye contact while attempting small talk. We were both using the standing urinal and the divider was too low for me to pretend like I didn't hear him talking to me. I think I stood there with dumb face for about ten seconds before I thought about how to respond. Clever me, I figured that if i ignored him, he would get the hint. WRONG. As I ignored him, I started to feel him staring a hole in the side of my head. Obviously this guy had been drinking alot of water as well and he wanted to chat it up to pass the time. WTF. How come I cant take a piss in peace? When did this shit start? Where do these people come from? I did my best to act like I wasn't phased by this awkward situation and gave him a generic "Just busy". I thought the conversation was over, but this guy came with "Oh really, what are y'all working on"....OMFG!!! Was this really happening?!!! I swear to GOD this was the longest piss Ive ever taken. My mind started working in overdrive trying to figure out what combination of words I could use to defuse the situation. God smiled on me and brought another unfortunate sole into the bathroom right after he asked me that ridiculous question. Thankfully, this new sucker was drawn into small talk and got me off the hook. As I finished up and started washing my hands, I just marveled at the fact that two grown man were talking in the bathroom. I cant be certain, but I think the second guy was on his way to the closed door stall for a number 2.......and he was still talking!!! I think this is just another sign of the Apocalypse........
NEW RULE: No talking or unnecessary eye contact in the bathroom. Handle your business and leave....
Till Next time.....
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5 comments:
no one at my job breaks this rule lol!
why did this guy come stand in the urinal next to me eventhough there were others open and just started talking to me! dude i finished peeing so fast, i had to get out of there, lol. i must have jinxed myself.
Okay you've got to tell me who this was so I can give him the stank face next time I see him in the halls! Hilarious...if it makes you feel any better, us girls talk in the bathroom all the time. Maybe he has some female tendencies??
I hope he didn't have female tendencies, cause then he just wanted to make small talk to check out your Johnson!!! You need to tell me who it was. That's F***UP
lol...that is crazy. it brings me back to this moment when I was on a road trip. I stopped at the gas station to use the restroom. When I walk in I go into a stall..you know..the normal business. As I am using the restroom, I hear this 6 year old little girl tell me "Hi!". at first I was like, who is she talking to, then I realized that no one else was in the restroom. I told her hi. Then she preceded to tell me about her mom and dad. She told me that her daddy was coming to pick her up bc her mommy wasn't with him anymore. She told me all of their business. When I left, she told me "Bye!". This little girl comes out of the stall...she was so little. But that was strange for me...bc I am not a talker...definitely not in the bathroom...maybe while washing hands, but using...no sir!
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