Dont talk to me in the bathroom!!!

When did it become ok to try to hold a conversation in the bathroom...........while ur taking a piss? Am I crazy or has traditional bathroom behavior just fallen by the waste side in favor of this bizarre new practice. I can usually make a routine trip to the bathroom without being harassed or even making eye contact with anyone. Well today at my place of employment, a fairly new co-worker decided today was the day to break up my sacred routine. In retrospect, I should have just turned around and went back to my desk as soon as saw this clown in the rest room. I'm sure most of you have those co-workers who you try to avoid, because you know if you acknowledge them, they will trap you in some long drawn out, useless small talk. This is that guy. Anyway, against my better judgment, I walked into the stall and began to release the hounds. I usually drink alot of water through out the day, which meant that I would be standing at the stall an extended period of time. So I'm minding my own business when I hear " Hey Emeka, haven't talked to you in a while, how you been?". In my head, I was asking myself, "Is this guy seriously trying to talk to me right now?". I didn't know what to do. I was shocked and mortified that this guy was holding his johnson in the stall next to me and trying to make eye contact while attempting small talk. We were both using the standing urinal and the divider was too low for me to pretend like I didn't hear him talking to me. I think I stood there with dumb face for about ten seconds before I thought about how to respond. Clever me, I figured that if i ignored him, he would get the hint. WRONG. As I ignored him, I started to feel him staring a hole in the side of my head. Obviously this guy had been drinking alot of water as well and he wanted to chat it up to pass the time. WTF. How come I cant take a piss in peace? When did this shit start? Where do these people come from? I did my best to act like I wasn't phased by this awkward situation and gave him a generic "Just busy". I thought the conversation was over, but this guy came with "Oh really, what are y'all working on"....OMFG!!! Was this really happening?!!! I swear to GOD this was the longest piss Ive ever taken. My mind started working in overdrive trying to figure out what combination of words I could use to defuse the situation. God smiled on me and brought another unfortunate sole into the bathroom right after he asked me that ridiculous question. Thankfully, this new sucker was drawn into small talk and got me off the hook. As I finished up and started washing my hands, I just marveled at the fact that two grown man were talking in the bathroom. I cant be certain, but I think the second guy was on his way to the closed door stall for a number 2.......and he was still talking!!! I think this is just another sign of the Apocalypse........

NEW RULE: No talking or unnecessary eye contact in the bathroom. Handle your business and leave....

Till Next time.....

Holy S***

It seems like Ive been bloggin about sports alot lately. Oh well, I thought this was blog worthy. Enjoy

Foot N Mouth

NEW YORK (AP) — The NBA has spoken with the Los Angeles Lakers about a comment coach Phil Jackson made following Tuesday night's game in San Antonio.
The Spurs made 13 three-pointers in their 107-92 victory, and Jackson was asked if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters.
"We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games."
The 2005 film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair.
"The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future," league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.

Phil Jackson "Apologizes"

No Class

I'm gonna start this post by conceding that the Dallas Cowboys are a good team. They swept my Giants and made it look pretty easy. I want you to know that writing that last sentence was very painful! In summation, Cowboys = Good, Giants = (cock tease)

But you know who isn't good........PATRICK FUCKIN CRAYTON. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? When did this circus come to town? I didn't see any trucks.
This fucking guy is mediocre at best and grabs most of his shine because of the presence of Jason Witten & Terrell Owens. You take those guys off the field and Crayton is sitting next to me at home watching the game. Your probably reading this thinking, damn Emeka is a hater. Well your probably a Cowboy fan so I really don't give a shit. This guys sucks and he embarrasses himself and the Cowboys every time he pulls stunts like this and opens his cock sucking mouth! Look at this guys stats for the year:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/players/6975/gamelog

The way he talks, you'd think he was some Football Jesus walking on water and catching touchdowns. This guy is such a non factor that I'm actually giving him too much shine by blogging about his sorry ass. Here is what Bob Sturm had to say about Crayton the Great:

"Patrick Crayton is a nice 3rd receiver. But, man, when he talks, I believe he thinks he is Owens. I wasn’t crazy about him running his mouth after New England whipped Dallas, didn’t care for his Touchdown reach yesterday, and then he was barking again in the room after the game. I am not sure what it is about Wide Receivers that require them to make complete fools out of themselves, but here is the bottom line…If you are unstoppable like Owens or Moss, then it is your right to be a fool. But, if you are Patrick Crayton, put a skin on the wall before you imitate those who will be in the Hall of Fame."

I'm actually glad that hes doing all this premature barking because one day he will do something stupid besides dropping wide open touchdowns and you Cowboys fools will finally realize what an idiot this guy is. Then Ill personally call each of you and tell you I told you so.

Bottom line is that this guy needs to know his role and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Till next time.......

Kanye West @ The LG Action Sports Chamionships

Let me first say, that when we first heard that Kanye West was gonna perform at this event, I wasnt really expecting much. The tickets were $20 bucks and I just figured they were using his name in association with the ASC to get a few extra butts in the seats. Shit, thats the only reason I went. I really dont give a shit about that Actions Sports stuff, but I figured, I waste $20 bucks at some of these usless clubs in Dallas, so what the hell. Hell probably do one or two songs , take a few pictures and be on his way. ILL BE DAMNED IF KANYE DIDNT KILL THAT SHIT ON FRIDAY NIGHT. We got an hour and a half of Kanye and it was off the chain. From the minute he hit the stage the had the crowd going crazy. It was awesome. The whole time I was there, I was wondering, "How the hell did this only cost $20 bucks?" For me, its very seldom that I go anywhere and my expectations are exceeded. Well, you guys can mark this, because for my money, Kanye Went above and beyond all my expectations. For a guy that bitches when he loses awards and always claims hes the best MC of all time, On Friday, November 9, 2007 , he fucking talked the talk and walked the walk. It was a great way to start the weekend. Lord please let my Giants win on Sunday to complete this weekend of awesome-ness.......

You can check out the pics we took here.

Till next time........

LG Action Sports Championships

Went to the LG Action Sports Championships last night and had a great time. Initially i was there to see Kanye West, but I actually enjoyed myself before the concert. Im no expert on this stuff, but I can appreciate the skill and balls it takes to do some of this shit. Flying of a ramp and standing on the seat of motorcycle is pretty awesome when your watching it live. There are no nets. If they fall..........well I think we all saw what happened to ole buddy at the xgames. I think thats what I was really looking for. That guy who takes an extreme risk and busts his ass. Didnt happen though, these guys know what they are doing and it was a pretty cool experience.

Here is another pic of the bmx bikers. They had their "championship" earlier in the year, so the top three came to dallas to perform stunts for the crowd. Like I said before it take alot of guts to do what these guys are doing.....

Huge shout out to my boy Julian who took this pic. This shit was amazing. Fucking camera was low on battery life so it we were very fortunate to get these pics. I think im gonna invest in some rechargeable batteries, because im wasting too much money on bullshit batteries.....

Last Chance??

David Beckham was recalled to the England squad Friday for what could be Steve McClaren's last games as England coach. McClaren admitted he was keen to bring Beckham back into the fold because he wants to draw on as much experience as possible for the Croatia.
"He hasn't played games but is included because, with the likes of Rio Ferdinand and John Terry out, we are lacking experience," McClaren said. "We need big game players and David Beckham is one of them.
"Believe me, this Croatia match will be a big game. I've always believed that. You need your experienced, big-time players in these matches. Before the pivotal Israel-Russia game, England plays a friendly in Austria next Friday, when Beckham will be hoping to add to his 97 caps. Just 15 months into the job, McClaren's prospects of staying on will be bleak if England fails to reach its first major tournament since the 1994 World Cup. The final Group E match against Croatia on Nov. 21 could be meaningless unless Russia fails to win in Israel five days earlier.

My Take:

I along with the other 100 million England fans will be praying hard that Russia slips up against Israel. Having the European Championships without England there will tarnish the whole competition. Everyone knows how good the English are, but for some reason this idiot McClaren cant get it right. This guys jobe cant be that hard. Some of the best players in the world come from England. He should have never taken Beckham out of the team. They wouldnt be in this mess if he had just stuck to the program. Now the English are in danger of becoming the laughing stock of Europe. I really hope Beckham completes his comeback by helping England book their ticket into the Euros and then the FA fire McClaren. Win , lose or draw........this guy has to go!